The Curious Mind of Xta

It has been such a long time since I've had lower back pain, I'd forgotten how depressing it is...

Not sure why, but I've had an ache in my lower left back/upper left hip for the last couple of days, and it is spreading towards the centre now. Means I won't go out hooping in the sun today, and I'm a bit worried about doing the pool setup and takedown for the Zajak meet this weekend, wah!

On the non-back pain side of things, I've found out that the hooping segment will probably be on the 6pm news tonight, yay! .. and my other plans for the day include buying bungee cord so I can make collapsible hoops, maybe hitting a rock and gem shop so I can find some nifty things for my jewelry-making aspirations (may change that to going to a thrify-junk shop to see what I can find in terms of jewelry that needs to be reworked.. like Mom's enamel pendant that I now love since changing its setting)... .. and something else that I just forgot during the conversation my roomies are having about computer games.

My body has gotten incredibly good at shutting me down when it wants to go to sleep.

I'm going to try to briefly resist it. Oh, no, apparently I'm giving in.

Waterpolo, hooping on the news (CTV 6pm news, should air Wed or Thur, and I should have a heads up about that), hooping with stilters, hooping with hauling the stereo, really yummy falafel wraps, new shoes, fun with friends, more waterpolo, fun at a yarn store (why do I keep buying yarn), fun with friends making fire hoops, and now gathering my stuff together to go crash at Kyle's for the night before we catch an early bus to White Rock for his gramma's funeral. Ah, life. :) Love y'all.

Your Birthdate: September 19

You are resilient, and no doubt your resilience has already been tested. You've had some difficult experiences in your life, but you are wise from them. Having had to grow up quickly, you tend to discount the advice of others. You tend to be a loner, having learned that the only person you can depend on is yourself. Your strength: Well developed stability and confidence Your weakness: Suspicion of others Your power color: Eggplant Your power symbol: Spade Your power month: October

Somewhere, in the last two months, I seem to have lost that bit of me that would keep me from flirting with people, talking to strangers, or staying late at a fire spinning session after all my closer friends have left.

Last night's burn was fun, though I managed to both lightly singe my hand and briefly set my pants on fire... but my safety dude had leapt up, ready to douse me with a blanky, and it went out on its own as the fuel burned off. New fire poi got spun for the first time - a little shorter than I've used before, but that means I can do windmill arm circles and they won't hit the ground.. and I tried a number of moves that I really should have practiced more when I WASN'T using fire, oops, silly me.

Today I'm stiff and sore, and a bit surprised about that.. didn't think I hooped/spun enough yesterday to account for this, and the yarn shop work wasn't that physically demanding. I DO understand why my wrists and thumbs are sore, though... but I really really really want to finish this cute hemp bag I'm crocheting.. yes, crochet. I've figured out how to read crochet charts, and the world is mine!

(okay, it is just another method of manipulating fibre.. but dang, its fun!)

Today's plans: bath, breakfast, reading... then probably packing my hoops onto my bike (jury-rigging a support off my rack rather than hauling the trailer, since I'm just taking a couple down) heading downtown for some personal spin time, then joining the monthly Critical Mass ride for the first time, where hundreds of cyclists ride through the streets. "We're not blocking traffic, we ARE traffic!" Should be a party!

My body is actually getting much better at signalling to me that I need to go to sleep RIGHT NOW... my late night reading-in-the-bath sessions have been ended mid-book, when I realize that I've not processed anything in the last three pages and that I'm doing dropsies in the tub.

I'm still digging this experience, though.. as Kimberly says, writing stream-of-conciousness stuff is easy, and it makes me actually LOOK at what is happening in my head. Not a bad thing. And, it is excellent practice for the day when I start blogging about my knitting on a near-daily basis, which will (should) help kick up my online interest.. that, and posting photos, which knitters really dig.

I got a lovely comment from the queen of knitting podcasts today, while squealing over her recent invitation to be a guest star on a knitting cruise to Alaska... "Christa, your show is really good. You'll get there. You're the only podcast focused on design." ... so I have my hopes and dreams of hosting a Knitting Across Canada on the Train tour... or cruising, or flying to NZ, or SOMETHING...

.. I should prob work a bit more on the actual publishing of my patterns, first. And getting on Knitty.com. That would help.

As one is gently snoring on the couch a few feet away from me, and the other is in bed, after setting up his computer so I could watch the last two episodes of Heroes... I can reflect and realize that I do enjoy living with these two interesting men... and would probably enjoy it even more if I did a bit more of carrying my own weight around here, rather than just paying higher rent (I got the biggest room by far) but doing no chores.

Maybe I'll readopt the bathroom... since the one thing I can't handle is the ring in the toilet bowl, I've been cleaning that for a while, but I'll make an effort to do floors and surfaces a bit more often. Maybe I'll also clean my room and create the workspace I've been talking about forever, organized in a way that will totally work with my style of dumping things as soon as I walk in the door (don't change the person, change the system).. so I will have less crap in the living room.

Having company in the house is generally lovely (still haven't brought anyone home to shake the walls when they're around), and is particularly nice when they cook for me, or bring me snacks from food runs, or show me nifty artsy things they've done and want to hear my opinion... Yeah, I dig it.

See yesterday's comments to read about the TV thing.

.. and Episode Six of the Christa Knits podcast is up. Visit http://podcast.christagiles.com to see the show notes and download directly, or search for "Christa Knits" in iTunes.

Don't have much else to say.. I'm tired, didn't get quite enough sleep last night, weird dreams.. and I think I might have fractured or splintered my elbow on Saturday, from a bad hit to the funnybone with a staff.. but funnybone hits don't usually stay tender and tweaky three days later, eh?

Tomorrow, CTV is coming to tape a segment on hooping for fitness. I'm going to try to put a helpful spin on my approach while not selling out completely, all while trying to make sure that my class is functional for all my students, not just the cameraperson trying to get the best possible shot. Wish me luck! And, nerves! And, a halt to my blushing!

Earl Snedden - I have no idea when he was born, but he passed away today, in Ontario, where he has farmed with my aunt Marilyn, for all of MY life.. I don't know enough about his life before that time to say if he's ever been anything other than a dairy farmer.

It was cancer, and it has been around for long enough to be a slow, drawn out fight that we're glad he's at peace. Mom is heading back east to be with her sister, and that's about all that Heather (my sis) has relayed to me so far.

He is the second uncle I've lost, without really feeling that I know anything about them as individuals... and I'm thinking about changing that with the remainder of my living relatives.

Hey, you... friend or family member of mine reading this... I love you. If I die tomorrow, I've had a wonderful life with no major regrets, just minor ones that remind me to be more daring in the time I have left. Hopefully you can say the same :)

Pro - I get to decide whether or not I feel like working. Today, not so much.
Con - I get to be really freaked out about the lack of consistent income. Today, mildly freaked.

Pro - I get to hear feedback about me and my business, and take all of the credit for it.
Con - I get to explain to people that "Hoop Play", in capitals, is something I've been using as a brand for my classes since Jan 2006. And no, I'm not a bitch for asking other people to choose something else for their own sessions.

Pro - I'm sooo much happier!
Con - ... Oh, right, that whole lack-of-security stuff. Pffft. Totally worth it still :)

Shortie for tonight, 'cause the roomie is sleeping in the living room since his dad is in his bedroom, so I'm gonna go find some vampire porn and soak for a bit. Cute Russian polo players tomorrow! (and isn't it odd... I can't think of any other occassions where I repeatedly use someone's ethnicity to identify them.. but all the waterpolo players from Russia get lumped this way. Curious.)

X.

.. I have such an innate distrust of people who want to be my friend.

I don't recall being burnt by friends as a child.. unlike people who pretend to want to date me, but that's another story... anyhoo, I wind up being very suspicious when I hear people say that they want to know me better.

This has happened enough times over the years that my friends, those people that I DID let in past my walls, know that it is a rare and special thing for new people to be added to the mix. Phil was actually teasing me about it recently, "Christa's got a friieeend, Christa's got a friiieend.." .. and I AM enjoying the new circle of people I am spending time with, hoopers and poi-ers and jugglers, all.

The one that has me freaked out? People from high school finding me on Facebook.

I have such bitter bitter memories of my childhood and growing up in Williams Lake and people being MEAN to me... that I don't know if I'm open to engaging in conversations and spending time on these people. Part of me wants to be open to their new wonderfulness and allow bygones to be gone... but the other part is still standing about two feet back, body turned half away, looking over my right shoulder with narrowed eyes... (funny how an emotion can have such a strong physical POSE to go with it, eh?).. and wants to shake my head, say No, and go read a book in the bathtub.

Comments? Personal experiences to share? Pros and Cons of renewing my connection with these folk?

I'm really enjoying reading other people's blogs - especially those of you who have jumped on the 30day challenge, and I apologise to those of you who aren't getting enough comments from me, please forgive me.

Today was a mix - massage with Vince (good, to get over the bad pain in my neck and upper back), Chapters time (good, except for the lame book I chose to read), Button Button time (good, could have used less 'what about this one?!' help from the shop worker, but she was nice and trying hard), DressSew time (good, got some grommets for a bag project and managed to NOT buy non-grommet things), random bead time (okay, didn't find a stellar-yet-cheap piece of boulder opal, but got a cheap-but-nice piece of something-jasper)...

.. and then, the sad time of hanging out with Kyle and his family as they are sitting a vigil for his grandma, who is slowly making her way out of this world, with brief and confusing yet slightly entertaining swings back into lucidity. Good bit about it: the ward where she's located is on the same floor as the maternity ward, so we got to see and hear a lot of babies - good reminder of the cycle of life!

Tell your loved ones that you love them, often!

[2:25:53 AM] Rebekkah says: Sage, can you remind me where Whore Landlords came from. The name, I mean?
[2:26:02 AM] Rebekkah says: I have a vague memory of it from earlier.
[2:26:06 AM] sagetyrtle says: I mean, if you CAN'T buy a fucking FABULOUS t-shirt for CHARITY then fuck YOU.
[2:26:16 AM] sagetyrtle says: Rebekkah - Just a sec, I'll show you.
[2:26:19 AM] Brenda Dayne says: christa was blowing her landlord, REMEMBER!
[2:26:20 AM] Rebekkah says: yeah, but did it say whore on it?
[2:26:28 AM] Rebekkah says: ooh yeah!
[2:26:33 AM] Brenda Dayne says: it was from that conversation
[2:26:45 AM] Rebekkah says: Okay. I thought it was a green room name. But not sure.
[2:26:52 AM] Brenda Dayne says: christa may STILL be blowing her landlord... for all we know
[2:27:06 AM] Brenda Dayne says: but, you know, we should talk about her behind her back
[2:27:08 AM] sagetyrtle says: It was NOT from that conversation. Geez.
[2:27:19 AM] Brenda Dayne says: Are you sure?
[2:28:11 AM] sagetyrtle says: Look, if you're not going to spend 4 hours a day memorizing EVERYTHING you hear on QN, then what the fuck am I *doing* here?!
[2:28:12 AM] sagetyrtle says: *grin*
[2:28:16 AM] Brenda Dayne says: Christa is ALSO blowing her entire water polo team. Or so I heard (that'll teach her to miss tea)
[2:28:42 AM] Brenda Dayne says: sorry, sorry sage.
[2:28:44 AM] Rebekkah says: Well, she has an excuse. She's obviouly *tired* after all that.
[2:28:53 AM] Brenda Dayne says: of course she is
[2:30:15 AM] Brenda Dayne says: okay, must go, I am terribly busy and important you know
[2:30:25 AM] Brenda Dayne waves to all the little people



Yes, these are fellow podcasters and knitting designers, part of a chat room on Skype where we discuss very serious things... oh, and slander whoever doesn't show up.

I've been very active the past couple of days, and therefore VERY tired by the time I get home, so I haven' t stayed awake for the regularly scheduled 'tea time' chat... it happens at 2am my time, which is great when I'm in my usual night-owl mode, 5am Toronto time, for Sage the eary-riser, and who knows what time it is in Wales, which is where Brenda lives.

So, an explanation: No, I am blowing neither my landlord nor my entire waterpolo team. (a certain Russian, however, makes that kinda appealing... not the WHOLE team... just him.. ./grin) That reference was to a conversation we had at the end of April, where I said I had to go to sleep soon because I had a lunch date with my slumlord (just kidding, Wolfie)... which, interpreted by these lovely women, quickly became a scene where I wasn't meeting him to provide rent cheques, but other services-in-lieu. Yep, they're raunchy women.. gotta love 'em :)

Off to podcast.. 'cause what else am I gonna do when I'm awake at 8am?! Damn.. no, wait.. lovely sun :)

(written whilst listening to the roomies and friend listen to a zombie movie, where someone is about to be prophalactyly killed so he doesn't die and then come back as a zombie)

Up: got to work on time. This is something to rejoice, because I have a harder time of it at this job than anywhere else, perhaps because I know that it is 'just' a yarn shop, so I don't have the same urgency as I used to, with the pool and shifts and stuff.

Down: got to work already wiped. Reasonably good reasons (?) but still, tired and blah isn't a nice way to start the work day.

Up: had a really tasty lunch. I took time before leaving home to throw together some salad ingredients I bought yesterday: tomatoes, mushrooms, carrots, baby greens and tomato tortillas, in a Tupperware(tm) box. Num! Super energy for the rest of the afternoon!

Down: my class didn't show up for hooping at the Roundhouse. 3 registered, 3 regular drop-ins, and no-one showed. Checked my email after the fact, and saw that two had cancelled earlier in the day... but still... c'mon.

Up: Since my class didn't show up, it meant I got to dance around for 40 minutes by myself, and work on some things I haven't done much of.. one of which was playing with dramatic, performance-worthy moves.

Down: I went too hard, and now I've got a kink in my neck.

Up: I get to go read in the tub for a while to get the kink out.

Down: After that, I need to spend 3-4 hours doing recording and editing for the podcast that is supposed to be out tomorrow. Somehow I lost a couple days this week.

Up: Tomorrow, I get to hang out with Jake and Christiana a bit more, either heading to Lynn Canyon via Lonsdale Quay, or hitting Granville Island

Down: tomorrow I find out whether or not the May NLS crash course will be running. I've been planning to finish off my VISA payments with the May and June courses, so it would be sad if it didn't go, money-wise, though I'd be happy about being able to hoop and play polo.

Undecided: Vancouver Folk Music Festival really needs me for the Security post I've worked for the past five years, and wanted to avoid this year. Apparently they are being renamed "Safety" - so now, before getting into really emotional, bitter, battering arguements with members of the public, I get to tell them that they have to sit down for 'safety' reasons. Gah. Nice to feel needed, but...

I got busted. I missed yesterday.. and I blame it entirely on the fact that I got invited to go fool around with someone last night, so I left the house at 11pm.. and normally my blogging happens around midnight. Oops.

Uhm, aside from that? I was unimpressed yesterday to find out that a guard I thought was incredibly reliable, was too disorganized/lazy/apathetic to bother calling me or the pool to say that he wouldn't be coming in for the private instructor-training we'd arranged yesterday. Okay, I could have called SOONER than 40 minutes after we were supposed to start, instead of just hooping around and figuring he was running late... but still. C'mon, dude, pick up the phone.

I'm also getting slightly worried about two things: 1 - the two giant freckles that seem to be changing and could therefore indicate skin cancer, and 2 - the tingling in my wrists when typing, riding my bike, and knitting. Grrr. I think I'll try to make a doctor's appointment for next week, or see if the BC Cancer Agency has some skin screening clinics coming up. TRalalalala.

I'll post again later tonight, to make up for it :(

Okay, I don't normally like to use terms that are used for female anatomy as derogative terms.. but 'pussies' is just such a good, rhymes-with-wussy, word.. that I can't resist.

This is to all the big, strong, rough, tough CREAMPUFFS that were whining about how cold the pool was today. Yeah, so, its only 68 degreees.. is that gonna kill ya? You couldn't jump in, suck up the sting for five minutes or so, and then play? Nooooo, you had to leave, or sit on the bleachers instead of getting in, so we had no subs, and wound up having to stop early because everyone was tired. (okay, and because the goalie with no body fat woulda died if we didn't stop). It was fun, though :)

Looking forward to some sunshine tomorrow, gonna ride my bike wearing my nifty new skirt lookin' all cute n all! (okay, gak)

Right now, I'm off to soak in the tub with my legs elevated - the five hours of hooping while barefoot on concrete is perhaps not the BEST idea for foot health.. but dang, it was fun! Met Jake and Christiana today, a couple of friends I've only chatted with online and via helping each other out with podcasts, and they ROCK! They hooped, they poied, they brought me super-uber-hot-sauce that scares me... and I'm gonna take them up to Lynn Canyon on Tuesday for a teeny stroll and picnic!

.. waking up too earlyish again, but having bright warm sunshine to blame it on...

.. being able to find everything I needed for my drop spindle class, pretty much where I expected to find it...

.. going to MEC to look for bicycling liner shorts and a skirt, finding them, loving them, buying them... oh, and remembering to buy a waterbottle, too...

.. heading downtown and having more success buying the cheap cycling glove I expected to find at Simon's Bike Shop...

.. entering Sears and pausing to scope out the Clinique counter 'cause it's bonus time, and having a delightful sales lady jump to assist me... (and she managed to make her sales attitude feel unsmarmy, unlike the manager at Claire's who was talking to her staff about meeting their sales quotas, while on the floor or behind the cash register, loudly enough for customers to hear.. nice..)

.. having my mostly-weekly rub by Vince, and givin' it to him about raising chickens and panthers in Vancouver.. (ask him about this, I'm curious what he'll say)...

.. and then having a delightful drop-spindle class, with two women I already knew (one coworker, one a past student) and a couple who worked as movie prop builders, and were fascinating characters...

...and... now it is late in the night and I should rejoice in the final goodness that is a new episode of Cast On to listen to.. and I'll prob fall asleep within the first five minutes, but I'll hear the rest of it tomorrow.

Hooray for springtime Fridays!

BUT.. I remembered.. 'cause the last thing I do before I go to bed is spend a couple hours aimlessly clicking around my selection of favourite links.

This is not such a good thing, especially when the sun is rising early and hitting my window before 9am, so I wake up... but only with 6 hours of sleep. So, tonight, I'm going ot go to bed before 1am. Three minutes left to write, one minute to pee. Oh, sorry, too much information? C'mon, middle-aging woman here (that felt so weird to type..)...

I'm feeling better today, got a bit more rational and less defensive.. I guess it helps that my businesses are currently doing really well, have almost filled some of my summer classes already, and haven't done the promotional stuff yet.. and spoke to enough of you yesterday that the whole concept of talking vs attacking/defending, and supporting rather than protecting... dealing with the world from a concept of ... ack.. this was such a good phrase.. ah, yeah, abundance.

Abundance was the topic of a chat done in the SEARCH program by one of the co-leaders, who shared many incredible (some, horrible) personal stories with us... but it came down to this: believe that everything you need will come to you, and it will. Worry about things being taken away from you, and.. not so good things happen.

There's my thought for the night. Kinda "The Secret", eh? (no, I haven't seen it, just hearing everyone talking about it...) Or, karma.

Pee time!

Guh, like.. why? Do I really seem like that much of an ogre, to piss all over things to label them "MINE" and keep other people from playing in the same, public playground?

I don't like this feeling.. finding out from friends that another friend is doing something that she apparently feels uncomfortable talking to me about (because it is creating work for herself in an area where I have created work for myself)... because, by not bringing it up with me herself, it feels like she is putting my friends in a position of having to guard their words when they are talking to me.

Is this really painfully highschool, or is it reasonable that two adults are going through this? (or that this one particular adult, ME, is reacting in this way to something that may or may not just be normal behaviour .. whoa, just confused myself, hold on...)

Right. So... how do I approach her, let her know that I'm uncomfortable with the 'secretive' approach, and would prefer to help her PROMOTE this income opportunity for herself? Gah, even picturing me trying to initiate this conversation, I can see myself being intimidating and making her defensive. Crap.

Help? Suggestions? Comments? Personality adjustment?

.. in which I reveal my totally.. wait, positive language.. less-than-healthy relationship with money.

The Saga (mid-April): got $145 cheque from hoop student, deposited cheque, paid bills and spent remainder of money. (normal) Following week, went to deposit another work cheque, and the bank machine told me to contact customer service. I do, and am told that the cheque was stale-dated (older than 6 months, not eligble for deposit) AND in US funds. (wtf?) As a result of the now-bouncing cheque, and having been at $0 already, my account is now -$165, FROZEN, and will remain so until I have deposited enough to bring it into the black, and have it sit there for five business days.

AAAARRRRGH!

So, took me a number of days to get cash from the student, after confirming that the amount had indeed not been removed from her account... and of course, since I'd been cash-less for those days, I promptly had things to spend the money on rather than depositing it and having to wait a week to get at it.

Last week, I had enough other work cheques to toss in and get through the waiting period (while living off my VISA, which was a very negative feeling since I'm training myself to not think of it as cash...)... but today, more than five business days past the day I deposited it, I attempted to pay bills online and couldn't.

Phone customer service, "Can I please have access to my account again.." - yes, gets done. "Can you explain what 'overdraft protection fee' that I got charged is, if I was left 'unprotected'?" - sure, bit of a semantics problem.. "Hm.. can you tell me if I'm eligible for overdraft protection so this doesn't happen again?" - ten questions and one credit check later, No.

Took me a couple hours to get over the negative, self-beating-up-ness that I always get in, when I am reminded that I have poor credit... I acknowlege that it is my own damn fault, and I can point at exactly the things that keep my rating low... but I have no grokking of WHY I can't fix this.. and that, in itself, is frustrating.

I'm a smart person. I can DO things if I set my mind to them. Why is money management so hard?

(okay, giving myself some credit here: I've supported myself [mostly] since high school, I've got a roof over my head, food in the bathtub, clothes that I like, I know where rent is coming from... I'm doing alright)

I'm kinda curious about what sort of childhood training/exposure we're missing ('cause I know Heather is in a similar boat), to have this bizarre relationship with finances, when MomnDad are so.. functional. *shrug*

Ah well... I'm going to see if I can find a 'finances for dummies who are too lazy to follow the steps in the Finances for Dummies book' book. Wish me luck.

I'm listening to old episodes of Cast On - a podcast about knitting, and tonight I heard the one about the Muse of Tragedy, which contained a piece I submitted. It was a story about a sweater that I knit for my bro-in-law Dave, ending with the sweater being placed on his casket, and me wondering how my sister would continue on through life without him. The answer: she has, with lots of tears and missing, but also with shared memories and new joy wth her partner, Bill.

Along with pondering her habits of having a series of long, intense relationships, I ponder my habit of having a series of short, well-seperated, shallow ones.

My longest friendships are with ex-boyfriends or ex-lovers... except the boyfriend who I actually lived with for three years, but have spoken to ONCE since we seperated. He just wasn't worth it.

And.. that's what it comes down to: I used to think it was that *I* wasn't worth long relationships, in other people's eyes... but I'm coming to the realization that I have yet to meet someone who is worth that, in mine.

Whether I actually wind up settling down with a single individual, or work out my concept of living a polyamourous life, I'm enjoying being in a phase right now where, for the first time ever, I'm feeling confident about flirting. I am following up with people who indicate an interest in me, though not falling head-over-heels for them until I figure out whether I am interested in THEM.. though the ones I DO find interesting, still get the treatment of being visualized as a life-long, happily-ever-after, I-will-leave-my-current-lifestyle-to-be-with-you deal.. but I get over that in a day or two.

I've been close to a couple relationships to watch them flow from beginning to current-thoughts-of-forever.. and it has been pretty special. Watching Katie and Paul figure things out, and Phil and Claire work through life... its awe-inspiring! Same with watching my parents, married over 40ish years and still happy. Dang. Nice role models, all of you!

Someday.. I may join you. Potentially with more than one partner in tow, but, whatever :)

I've been out of the rain for four hours, and I'm still chilled.

NLS Precert and Recert, taught at UBC during the May/June Aquatic Workshop, but scheduled to run in the outdoor pool due to shutdown in the indoor pool.

Candidates: 12 registered, but only 11 showed up. First day included a woman who got her NLS to work as a swim coach, but her skills sucked. We both agreed that she wasn't ready for the recert. Second day included an experienced guard who was allowed to register for the recert-only, and had some minor unpolished moments but was mostly good.

This is the only recert I can remember from the last couple years where ALL the participants could do the physical standards without problems. Yeah, the swim coach woman had a sucky spinal roll, but she wasn't drowning. And, they were all whiners, but they had the hang of CHEERFUL whining, so it was pretty fun. (oh, and one of them had a GORGEOUS smile, and used it frequently.. ./swoon) (I think I'm going to go see if he's on Facebook, just to see it again...)

Today, all testing: nothing shocking on the written, physical standards were a breeze, I'm still boggled by the non-breathing = CPR vs the non-breathing = AR and a pulse check, so I felt really awkward evaluating the unconscious removal, which is now (was always, but I didn't notice?) done with a second person on the removal.. so I don't really get it. Oh, dammit. I just realized I also forgot to collect the survey forms. Oops. The sims actually went really well, with the exception of one of the goofballs from the UBC staff totally getting hung up in an imaginary missing child being found by his parent, while someone was drowning in the pool... and that the very last candidate to go, managed to fail to demonstrate much ability at all. Guh! 10 minutes after the recert was supposed to end, everyone else has gone to get changed while they finish the major, this person had left the precert an hour early in order to get to work.... and I still feel guilty about failing them. Why is this?

There are two things I dislike about teaching advanced courses. 1 is working with people who don't pass. The second is feeling insecure about my knowledge and my decisions. I can fix the second, and have a specific idea of the questions I need to go to the NLS committee with (where is my FAQ handout on NLS and CPR? to start) so I feel like I have a grip on the new standards and how they are explained and applied.. but the people who fail? Gah. I take it soooo personally... and the candidates can see this, and often comfort me: "It's okay, I don't think I should pass... don't let it bother you..." .. but I don't really understand why that is.

Hm.. maybe I'll use some of these monthly posts to go into some of the things that I know I do and feel, and see if I can get some insight...

Time to head for a hot bath, and get some feeling back into my fingers.

Okay, so Katie and I have agreed to do a 30-day challenge of posting something on our blogs every day. We didn't discuss an actual start date, but I figured I would begin NOW.

Of course, this is currently just an extension of the last four hours that I've spent online, putting together a little shop on Etsy.

What is Etsy, you ask? Well... first, visit: etsy.com and look at the nifty collection of photos of handmade stuff, that may be related by theme, colour, material... or something a little more obscure. So far, so good? Okay, the details: individuals sign up with Etsy for their own shop. Mine is christagiles.etsy.com .. and the shop itself is free. The costs come in the listings, 20 cents (US) per item posted, and in a cut of the selling price, 3.75% from the final price, not including shipping. So... outlay, including PayPal fees, will be somewhere in the range of $1.. and I'll get $4USD for emailing something that I've already put the work into designing, doing pattern layout, and creating a PDF file...

.. now my only hope is that I don't need to redo all the info and photo input for relisting the pattern as it sells out (a suggested strategy is to post something every day, to keep your shop in the first page of the listings in every catagory you belong to..) so my time costs don't go crazy.

Woot!

Oh, and did I mention that I'm prob going to be in the 'Canada Knits!' column of Vogue Knitting, in the Holiday 2007 issue?! EEEEEEEE! :) The joys of self-promoting....