Thursday, May 10, 2007


I hate un-secret secretive secrets.

Guh, like.. why? Do I really seem like that much of an ogre, to piss all over things to label them "MINE" and keep other people from playing in the same, public playground?

I don't like this feeling.. finding out from friends that another friend is doing something that she apparently feels uncomfortable talking to me about (because it is creating work for herself in an area where I have created work for myself)... because, by not bringing it up with me herself, it feels like she is putting my friends in a position of having to guard their words when they are talking to me.

Is this really painfully highschool, or is it reasonable that two adults are going through this? (or that this one particular adult, ME, is reacting in this way to something that may or may not just be normal behaviour .. whoa, just confused myself, hold on...)

Right. So... how do I approach her, let her know that I'm uncomfortable with the 'secretive' approach, and would prefer to help her PROMOTE this income opportunity for herself? Gah, even picturing me trying to initiate this conversation, I can see myself being intimidating and making her defensive. Crap.

Help? Suggestions? Comments? Personality adjustment?

Just come right out with it... Say look, this isn't highschool, we're both adults and we're supposed to be friends. I was told this, by someone who shall remane nameless and here's what I think about it. You shouldn't feel like you have to hide things from me.

It's like taking off a bandaid, just rip that f*&ker off and if it stings for a'll pass.
Yeah, the bandaid approach is definitely the best way to get it all out into the open, quickly and effectively. I myself would take a similar approach, but I'd say something along the lines of "I just wanted to let you know that I'm aware of your current venture, and I'm not at all upset by it. I also want you to know that if you need any support or information, all you need to do is ask! We creative types need to stick together!"

Rather than bust her for being secretive and perhaps perpetuating the already-uncomfortable feelings, the whole "I know. And now you know that I know. But no, I'm not bothered, and the fact that I'm not bothered probably makes you reconsider that sneaky approach anyway, even though I didn't bust you outright" approach is always a decent option.
I went the non-confrontational route: "I heard you're doing a workshop - do you want me to advertise it in my next mass emailing? And, if you ever want to sit down and talk about building this into something more for yourself, I'm more than happy to..."

I feel good about it. Thanks for all the advice :)
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