Friday, May 18, 2007
I wonder why...
I don't recall being burnt by friends as a child.. unlike people who pretend to want to date me, but that's another story... anyhoo, I wind up being very suspicious when I hear people say that they want to know me better.
This has happened enough times over the years that my friends, those people that I DID let in past my walls, know that it is a rare and special thing for new people to be added to the mix. Phil was actually teasing me about it recently, "Christa's got a friieeend, Christa's got a friiieend.." .. and I AM enjoying the new circle of people I am spending time with, hoopers and poi-ers and jugglers, all.
The one that has me freaked out? People from high school finding me on Facebook.
I have such bitter bitter memories of my childhood and growing up in Williams Lake and people being MEAN to me... that I don't know if I'm open to engaging in conversations and spending time on these people. Part of me wants to be open to their new wonderfulness and allow bygones to be gone... but the other part is still standing about two feet back, body turned half away, looking over my right shoulder with narrowed eyes... (funny how an emotion can have such a strong physical POSE to go with it, eh?).. and wants to shake my head, say No, and go read a book in the bathtub.
Comments? Personal experiences to share? Pros and Cons of renewing my connection with these folk?
I have long since come to terms with this - that high school was not my time. I'm ok with that and I've forgiven them for doing what they did.
I have to say, though, if one of them contacted me, I'd probably do coffee and see what happens. My family is very good at holding grudges, and I've long since realized that its just not healthy to do so.
It's facebook, and the internet... so take them or leave them you have that option. As long as youdon't let it effect you negatively. And hey maybe you can use the experience to heal some old wounds you may or may not even be aware of.