Tuesday, March 22, 2005
"Culture of Life"?
Guh. I am SO not afraid of dying. Pain and unpleasantness, yes (though not really fear, per say.. not just really excited about them). The end point, no. Spirit of the West really sums it up well in their song "Unplugged": "I will not burden those I love, I will not be a spoon fed __bird?__ or beg for mercy from above, oh let my cord.... become unplugged."
That debate currently going on in the US, between the husband of a woman who has been in a coma for 15 years, who wants her feeding tube removed, and her parents, who don't.... makes me want to clarify things for my friends and family and other loved ones, though as I search for the words, I understand more that it will be hard to provide for every possible outcome.. so I'll just try to get the general scope across:
1 - No long term comas. If a reasonable time (days or weeks, not months) has passed with no sign of improvement or recovery, let me go.
2 - End my suffering, and yours, sooner rather than later. If I can't communicate in any way, and you sense my pain, take the plug out.
3 - No guilt about the choices you make on my behalf. (side note: I'm truly grateful for my parents to have always been vocal about their wishes that we shouldn't ever feel bad about moving them to a care facility when they are too old to safely stay at home. Danka!)
4 - No guilt about ending a relationship with me, if "me" has changed to being a person you can't relate to.
5 - The order of people who get to make the call: 1 - any current partner, 2 - sister Heather, 3 - Mom n Dad
If you want clarification of any of this, or have suggestions about how I can make it more concrete, let me know.
Water: So much water. I'm teaching an NLS crash course right now, so I'm in the water at 7:30am for MY swim, two hours in the morning and two hours in the afternoon with the course. Wetwetwet. Plus showers, so I don't have chlorine drying on my skin all day long.
Chai's: three yesterday, one so far today, more to come I'm sure..
Craft project: Sweater is done, if I didn't put that in before, and am on the bottom two inches of a pretty green cotton tank top, with columns of faggoting
Wardrobe: work shorts, Birkis, and a green polo shirt the swim coaches brought back from CIs. Flattering, not so much. Comfy, yeah :)
Music: Been really digging a complication CD for American artists supporting MoveOn.org. I am aware that I have been lumping all Americans into my image of rednecks who wage war, but I know that isn't true, and I'm working at killing the stereotype. Really particularly enjoying Blink 182's song, for the piano content.
Enough.. oh, weather is SUNNY yet brisk... good to be swimming in the outdoor pool in March :)
That debate currently going on in the US, between the husband of a woman who has been in a coma for 15 years, who wants her feeding tube removed, and her parents, who don't.... makes me want to clarify things for my friends and family and other loved ones, though as I search for the words, I understand more that it will be hard to provide for every possible outcome.. so I'll just try to get the general scope across:
1 - No long term comas. If a reasonable time (days or weeks, not months) has passed with no sign of improvement or recovery, let me go.
2 - End my suffering, and yours, sooner rather than later. If I can't communicate in any way, and you sense my pain, take the plug out.
3 - No guilt about the choices you make on my behalf. (side note: I'm truly grateful for my parents to have always been vocal about their wishes that we shouldn't ever feel bad about moving them to a care facility when they are too old to safely stay at home. Danka!)
4 - No guilt about ending a relationship with me, if "me" has changed to being a person you can't relate to.
5 - The order of people who get to make the call: 1 - any current partner, 2 - sister Heather, 3 - Mom n Dad
If you want clarification of any of this, or have suggestions about how I can make it more concrete, let me know.
Water: So much water. I'm teaching an NLS crash course right now, so I'm in the water at 7:30am for MY swim, two hours in the morning and two hours in the afternoon with the course. Wetwetwet. Plus showers, so I don't have chlorine drying on my skin all day long.
Chai's: three yesterday, one so far today, more to come I'm sure..
Craft project: Sweater is done, if I didn't put that in before, and am on the bottom two inches of a pretty green cotton tank top, with columns of faggoting
Wardrobe: work shorts, Birkis, and a green polo shirt the swim coaches brought back from CIs. Flattering, not so much. Comfy, yeah :)
Music: Been really digging a complication CD for American artists supporting MoveOn.org. I am aware that I have been lumping all Americans into my image of rednecks who wage war, but I know that isn't true, and I'm working at killing the stereotype. Really particularly enjoying Blink 182's song, for the piano content.
Enough.. oh, weather is SUNNY yet brisk... good to be swimming in the outdoor pool in March :)
# posted by Christa Giles @ 1:12 PM 
Comments:
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This is *not* tongue-in-cheek or otherwise lacking in solemnity - but what if "current partner" isn't worthy of the responsibility? Lacking other guidance at the moment, I'll prevent CP from doing anything permanent until we reach an understanding - by violence, if necessary (the prevention, not the understanding). Also, I am inspired. Back to my blog...
A "living Will" is a very good idea. It outlines your wishes and makes them legally binding. Also since you and Heather seem to be on the same page as far as your wishes are concerned you could designate power of atorny in said living will to each other, then it wouldn't matter how your personal love relationships worked out. Anything can happen between love partners, but sister are always sister.
Unless sister goes in for elective surgery, in case sisters might be brothers - or in case sister marries uncle, in which case sisters would be aunts (aunts-in-law??)...
That's a good one - I'm signed up for the organ donor programs, and immediate family types (including Dave) all know what I want, but it would probably help to have it all written down and notarized. So where's *your* updated entries, hon?
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That's a good one - I'm signed up for the organ donor programs, and immediate family types (including Dave) all know what I want, but it would probably help to have it all written down and notarized. So where's *your* updated entries, hon?
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